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"Jack: "My money!!!!"Mary: "Even worse, since he is not his mother's son anymore, he's talking about marrying her to keep her in the family."Jack: "My money!!!!!"Mary: Jack, if you're worried about your money, there is one way to get it back."Jack: "MY MON-...Mary, that's great! How would I do that?"Mary: "Marry him yourself."The Announcer: "Today's episode has been brought to you by Anne-Mal."Mr. Douglas yelled, "Turn that ridiculous program off!!"He had just come in the back door, and the one in dress that he assumed was Alf had his back to him listening to a transistor radio while watching the front-loaded clothes washer spinning noisily. The short man was in the full rig of what his wife called "a French butler's uniform": the little black dress, as well as black spike heels, and silk hose, white garter belt, petticoats, apron, and the edges of his scoop neckline, puffy sleeves, choker and cap all trimmed with lace. And it must include a girdle with pads, because the stocky man. But I'm getting ahead of myself.I had this crazy dream last week that I couldn't stop thinking about. I had met an older stranger and he gave me the best sex of my life. I couldn't forget it and it made me horny for days. That's why, out of curiosity, I looked at the personal ads on Craigslist to see if there was anyone out there looking for something like me. I responded to a few ads, mostly just ugly old guys desperate for anyone and that was so unattractive. I chatted back and forth with a few of these guys, but none of them made me feel like they were anything like the dream I had, so I passed. And then I found an ad that was titled, "Get in the Van." The poster was listed as sixty years old, older than even my parents, and I almost didn't read his ad, but something made me continue looking.This was what it said:Hello, little girl. My van is parked on the outskirts of Harris Ranch. You enter my van and sit back as I play with all of your holes for hours. Daddy needs this right.
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